“In Texas: It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing”

WHAT??  You have GOT to be kidding me, right? Come on now, I’ve chugged countless beers in my adulthood and if that makes me a criminal, then so be it! It seems crazy to me that there could even BE such a law as to regulate the way a person consumes something, much less alcohol. Isn’t one of the reasons that being an adult and making your own decisions is cool? Then to be managed like this! And, this law only applies to beer? I think that’s a discrimination case if ever I heard one!  AARRGGHHHH…

Ok, well, let me calm down a bit and think about this. So maybe there is a reason for this law… lets explore that line of thinking. Follow me if you will…

Scenario 1. Man in a bar, standing. Drinking a beer, takes four sips and dribbles some on the floor. Another person walks by, slips on the spill, cracks their skull on the floor. Man is guilty of negligent homicide and sentenced to 30 years. Likely? Probably not.

Scenario 2. Woman in a club, standing. Woman takes three sips, then gets daring and takes a fourth, spilling on her blouse. Woman stains her blouse and sues the club for overfilling her drink. Law enacted to stop frivolous lawsuits. Possible? Nah.

Scenario 3. Two lawmakers sitting around one night talking. One says “I saw my wife standing and talking to this guy in the bar the other night and they were drinking a beer…it was awful”. Second one asks, “How long were they standing there talking?”. First one replies, “For at LEAST four sips, then they left together”. Probable? Yeah.

Silly, strange laws get passed all the time, I’m sure. And sure, they probably were meant to regulate some problem, but come on…three sips? And only beer?

Hhmmm…maybe I should start a petition to get this law revoked. Who’s with me?

As I sit here in my office,
On this day full of cheer,
I think of Motley Players,
As I open up my beer.

The day is warm and sunny,
Nothing could be finer,
And I sip my Bohemian Lager,
The finest black beer from Shiner.

The Faire is around the corner,
I wish it would not end,
I will see you and the others
In April and May, my friend.

So here’s to you Brian,
A toast just for you,
I raise my MPIII stein,
That holds not one beer….but two!

Scott R.

Huge thanks to everyone who made it; there was a roller-coaster of comedy in Dallas that night the improv show was a huge blast!  To surreal and funny to describe (yeah, you can try, but wow!), it was a great night of comedy!  We did want to say, that even with the amazing bit on turkey bacon (you had to see it) that no actual turkeys or comedians were injured in the scene.

The show line up, for those who want to know what we actually call these bizzare comedy structures;

• Try that on for size – the action one where some things are best left undone (pat calling himself out!).
• Foreign Movie – Actors and translators doing that famous Esparanto classic “Plan 8 from Detroit”
• Slide Show – Comic world tour with our ’slides’ showing off  wild vacations from the audience.
• Lines from a hat – We take lines supplied by the audience (like woah! you guys) and integrate them into our scenes.
• Three Things – A crazy epic game where Rox has to figure out different wacky messed up activities based off the gibberish and antics of the other cast: Football with turkey bacon, and litter box tribbles, oh my!
• Short Scenes – Never before has a post-it held so much power – side splitting and surreal this structure is where the actors give a no-holds barred interpretation of audience suggestions.
• Clap Scene – Three scenes, six actors, 12 hands – tons of laughs.
• Long Form – Two short stories inspired by audience suggestions and actor monologues - some serious, some zany, all art – this is improv.
• Worlds Worst – MPIII’s grand closer, one of our most popular games.  We take your situations and make the worst of them!  A real crowd favorite “…and now for the politically incorrect portion of our show…”

Huge thanks to everyone who made it to the show, make sure to sign up for our mailing list for future show info and discounts, and we hope to see all of you again.    Leave us a comment if you had a favorite momeent, or a request for a future show!

~ The Motley Players

Now what? Ok, so you buy that multi million dollar mansion in Beverly Hills, the high end sports car of your dreams, the yacht, the private jet and some arm candy. Just when you think “what else is there, I have everything”….there comes….GLOW IN THE DARK TOILET PAPER!

Thats right, you heard it, glow in the dark. Those creative, kooky, wacky Brits have been up to it again! Now, that middle of the night bathroom excursion will be ever so much more delightful with the help (and glow) of the glowing roll by the toilet. Not just fun either, as those of you that have been told you couldnt find it with both hands in the dark now dont have to worry…the soft glow will help you manage to hit the target with ease. (so to speak)

I know some of you are sitting there in utter disbelief, but click HERE for the link to the site. They are quoted as saying, “Perfect for power cuts, this groovy glowing loo roll means that if you don’t want to wake anyone up in your household by turning on the light, it’ll cast its green glow over your bathroom, so you can find your way around. Also – it’s Glow in the Dark Toilet Roll! Just when you thought everything that could be invented, has been, we can still surprise you!”

Before you go rushing off to order yourself a case, they ARE out of stock at this time. (I guess there was a big rush?) But have no fear…I’m sure they will be restocked in no time at all. I mean, how long does the roll actually have to sit at the nuclear waste site before its ready to sell? For those of you worried about having something toxic…”down there”, I’m SURE its been tested and has been deemed COMPLETELY safe for use on humans. I mean, those British guys aren’t still sore about that whole separation from England thing, are they?

In any case, when you order be sure to tell them MPIII sent ya!

Supporting a great idea…

I love bra’s.  They are a great combination of form and function.  They can look pretty (yes guys, real women have bras with flowers on them..and stuff.), and besides looking good, they do …um..their intended purpose, making women look even better! (that was a close one).

Well now, we can celebrate, because someone actually came up with the best idea since Weird Science – a Bra that can be used as a real gas mask.

Or two.

Yeah, read that again…

No, really.

The invention known as “The Gas Mask Bra” – by an inventor from Chicago (yet another reason to love that town). Basically, inspired by the Chernobyl disaster in the 80s, its bra made of materials which, when breathed through (yeah, think about that one), can filter out many harmful suspended particulates.  Apparently radioactive particles could be filtered out, who knew?

Bet you never thought I could put the words “bra” and “suspended particulates” legitimately in a post before , did ya?

Here is some nerd speak from the patent:

A bra garment comprising: a plurality of detachable cup sections, each of the cup sections having: (a) a filter device; (b) a first portion positionable adjacent to a first central area of a user’s chest; (c) a second portion positionable adjacent to a second outer area of the user’s chest adjacent to an underarm; and (d) a valve device.

Special.  This has so many comedy implications that I am just giddy with it….and thats even before thinking that is a BRA!

Want more info…google it at work…I dare you.  You know your boss will walk in just as the search results and pics come up.  See what excuse you can come up with this time.

Of course, besides the comical images of what these things in action would be like …well, you can let your own thoughts run wild here.   Personally, I know that if there was an incident where I was in danger of ’suspended particulates’ I would be more than happy to share a cup of one of my prepared female friends.

Now, if someone decides to create the gas-mask-cup for men…well, in a disaster, I am just going to choose to be a casualty.

One final note on bra design however, I am still convinced that the hooks on the back were designed by an clever father to thwart un-trained users from executing a hasty removal.

But that is another story…

~ Dave

There are times when someone sends you something and its just so damn funny you have to share. This is one of those times. If you want to laugh at people and life in general, keep reading.

So I get this news article about a new dollar type store opening up in some small town. How do I know it’s a small town? Well, it made the paper and they had an interview with a person that was shopping there, didn’t they? Anyway, the reporter is interviewing a lady that had been a recent shopper of the store. When asked how she liked it her reply was some thing along the lines of “Oh, I really like it. You don’t have to get dressed up like you do when you go to Wal Mart”.

First of all, Ive seen how people dress going in to local Wal Marts and they are usually anything BUT dressed up (except one day when Dave and I went to one and there was this one lady…and well, that may be another story) and secondly, what does that say about what this woman wore into the dollar store? That just paints a mental image NO ONE probably wants or needs. Lets maybe go over that a moment, shall we?

DRESS CODE FOR WAL MART;

Shirt, pants, shoes, brushed teeth, showered, deodorant, hair combed

DRESS CODE FOR DOLLAR STORE;

Grab keys and check housecoat to make sure spaghetti stains aren’t too noticeable

It may just be me, but I have seen WAY too many people going to the store in things that were never meant to see the light of day. Come on, seriously, when did housecoats become something you put on when you are going TO the store?

Being on stage and entertaining people is one of the biggest joys I could ever hope to experience. It is fulfilling in ways I cant even describe. Sure, applause is nice and money, well who in this world doesn’t like THAT? But the fulfilling nature of performance, for me, is when I feel the show I just walked off stage from was just…well…kick ass!

Don’t get me wrong, as much excitement as there is in doing an improv show, there is also just as much (if not more sometimes) fear, that may or may not show up while on stage. If you could see inside the head or read the thoughts of any one performer you may see a bunch of jumbled thoughts along with a little inner “mini me” screaming like a scared little girl in a haunted house. I have personally experienced all this in a single game, not to mention a full show! Maybe it’s the fact that both things can heighten your senses and that makes you more acutely aware of things going on during your performance. It could also be letting your mind wander and not focusing on your scene and making it good. (more on all that later in Stagecraft)

The next time you are watching a live comedy show, whether it be improv or stand up, see if you notice those moments. Some may be very obvious and others might be a bit more subdued. Much like bungee jumping…you know there is going to be the snap back but you aren’t sure when its going to happen!

~ Beavis

This is for two reasons;

1. It focuses the attention to the stage and
2. It helps the audience to not be self conscious about laughing and/or yelling out suggestions to the stage.

Having performed on stage in traditional venues (comedy club or theatre, etc.), I can tell you this…the people seated up front are visible but the further back it goes the harder it is to see people. The people that are sitting up front are people that have been to an improv show before and know what to expect or they want to have a good time. Either way, it’s all good.

Now, on an outdoor stage in the middle of the day, there are no house lights…no stage lights…no one seating people…and no way to hide in the darkness anywhere at all…for anyone in the audience. THIS is MPIII’s venue for our outdoor shows.  When we would step out on the stage you could see everyone and they could see you. Whatever you did and whatever THEY did was clearly visible, thus them being more self conscious about contributing or laughing. If you have ever had to try and pull suggestions out of a crowd in a darkened club, you can imagine how much more creative we had to be.

This is not to say it wasn’t fun though. Part of the show, from the very beginning, is the host walking out on stage and giving the audience the introduction to our show and what was taking place. It ranged from “watch out for water balloons” to “if your kids get our jokes” innuendo warning. Also, being that some audiences were unprepared for an improv show, we had to start every show anew each and every time. Return audience members of course knew what to do and expect, but for the most part we had to treat each show as if it was filled with new people which we had to “teach” what we did and what their part was.  This was a important since most of them arrived with a “entertain me” attitude.

Next time you have a chance to talk to a standup comic, improv performer or stage actor, ask them about this topic and see what they tell you. I’m SURE it will be interesting.

~ Beavis

While we love being the creators of comedy, we also love being the audience of it as well. In fact, comedy is just like any other craft or business; once you work in it, you gain a greater appreciation and critical eye for it.

While this is technically a betting/lottery type commercial, I find it hysterical. I appreciate it for its premise, execution and its creation given its subject matter.

The Premise:

• Ok, whats not to love about a simple mishap leading to the absurd group reactions of unintentionally high/stoned athletes.  Yes, I know the real premise is ‘buy our tickets, because anything is possible’ but to me, its a more of a very funny short.

The Execution:

• Comedy comes from either anticipation or surprise, and given the premise here (oh, now that’s some special sports drink) they do a great job with the ‘effect’.  The cuts are good, the contrast between the affected players and their mouth frothing opponents is just great.   The physical comedy here, along with the players conviction (an acting term) is top rate.  Finally, the non-chalance of the witnesses (the ref, the fans, etc.) is an interesting touch.

The Creation:

• This commercial, which depicts drug effects in a humorous way, is made outside of the U.S.  Sadly, I just don’t think it would fly here – sex, money and violence are fine, but a video about a bunch of stoned athletes?  Can you say mandatory drug test?  I salute a culture which can make fun of a topic instead of handing it vices off to the ostrich of political correctness.

I salute the writers who wrote it, the producers who made it and the stations who aired it.  I also just love the expressions and physicality by the actors – great stuff!

Watch it, if you like it, or like the fact I ramble about it, leave a comment.  If you don’t, leave a comment there too…

~ Dave

For a variety of reasons.  First of all, its funny.  Not just funny in what it says, but funny in the fact that they said it.

I saw this sign outside of a popular chain restaurant, outside the to-go entrance.  Its marking (or guarding?) the to-go parking.  You know, those good spots for the folks just hopping in quickly to pick up their orders and run.   I have not seen a lot of these signs, but then again I don’t eat at lot of chain restaurants…or maybe it was because was in Jersey…who knows (ask me some time about my getting lost in south Manhattan).

I applaud their creativity, the chutzpah to put it up, and the implied message it attempts to convey.  Of course I doubt they would actually crush your car and melt it…maybe just crush it (if in Newark, prolly both).

I think I like this sign not just for the humor, but also its distant appeal to a kind of cultural justice system, saying “hey jerkface, don’t park here unless you are here for the to-go” ….maybe I want something like this for the carry-on luggage abusers at the airport…who knows.

Either way, I like that sign.  So, what do you think about it?
Anyone out there seen any funny signs recently?

~ Dave